I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
