he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
