is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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