omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
