I bet he comes in French.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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