This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
