okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
