Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
