I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Drunk is a universal language darling
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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