I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
