Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
