that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
All I want is dick and wine.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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