GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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