Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
did you just send me my own nude
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
