i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
