I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The adults are the big ones right?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
