Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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