I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
