check it out our google latitudes are spooning
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Randomize
