maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
