Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
