I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
