Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
