I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
