I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize