so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
