When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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