Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize