you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
