just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
