She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize