I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
