also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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