Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
