Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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