i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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