His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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