do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
They took my balls.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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