I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
