he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
