why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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