discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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