yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
