How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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