Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
