It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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