Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
