Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
