what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
