Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize