PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
