Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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