You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
