it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
A+ Viking dick
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
