that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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