I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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