she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
