at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
