I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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