I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
