He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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